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May 20, 2022

No Kids Allowed Weed Storefront

Storefront No Kids Allowed logo.
Total Score:
2.5 / 5

Payments Accepted:
Cash Only

3 / 5
2 / 5
Gift Quality:
3 / 5
Trust Score:
4 / 5

Customer Average: 5

No Kids Allowed is a cannabis company in D.C., created by former teachers. What teacher wouldn’t rather be slanging dope? Medium quality experience, with nothing particularly standing out.

Our experience with NKA was one of mediocrity, rather than a horrible or great performance. They were mid–and they sold us the wrong stuff. Our shopper went in and told them what he wanted, and they rushed him out the door with the wrong stuff.

You can probably do better than NKA; just try any storefront with a better rating.

Is No Kids Allowed Legit?

It’s impossible for us to say if the claims they make are true about being former teachers. We tried to contact them via their Instagram but got no response.

They do, however, actually gift cannabis when you make a purchase from them. Their weed was okay.

The bigger issue, for our shopper, was they were more interested in rushing him out of the store than meeting his needs.

Their door person was friendly as our shopper arrived, smiling and opening the door for them. The doorman asked where we heard about NKA, and showed us the merch in the front of the store (no weed included).

Lukewarm Customer Service

After being shown around the front, someone came from the back and asked our shopper to follow them. Moving to the back room, our shopper saw all of their cannabis on display.

Our shopper asked for their top-shelf flower, which on their website is referred to as honor roll. They only have 2 tiers of cannabis, honor roll and the lower-tiered exotic.

There was a line behind him and our shopper got the sense he was being rushed by NKA staff. They showed him some strains he believed to be honor roll (as he’d asked for explicitly) and he chose one.

Even as he selected his strain, he reminded them that he was interested in honor roll tier flower and was rushed out with exotic flower regardless.

It was vocalized that we were paying for a sticker, and not the cannabis, so they are working within the I71 linguistic framework.

Gift Selection Available Was Okay

In total, there were about 6 or 7 strains to choose from, both tiers of flower included. Not many options, but all of their flower looked acceptable–nothing obviously low quality.

Our shopper says the difference in bag appeal between the two tiers is negligible. “Their exotics didn’t look much different than the honor roll tier” he reports.

They had us scan a QR code to get 10% off on our first purchase. They said after 10 purchases we’d get another discount.

Our shopper did notice a wheel that shoppers before him got to spin to win a free preroll, but our order must not have qualified.

Professionalism? Mixed Bag.

NKA is not located in the safest neighborhood, and there are homeless people lingering out front. If you live in any major city, this is unlikely to phase you but some may prefer to avoid this store on those grounds.

They had a clean store, and staff was friendly enough. There was modern rap playing inside–it’s a nice vibe for young people.

Our shopper used street lingo to see if NKA would reciprocate. They did not–which speaks to their professionalism, to their credit.

The lady who was selling the cannabis rushed our driver and messed up his order in the process, but he said otherwise she seemed knowledgeable and good at her job.

It’s likely they keep the cannabis in the back room to keep the smell down and not bring ‘too much attention’ too themselves from the street. But it gives storefronts that are fashioned this way an air of sketchiness.

How NKAs Weed Smoked? Not Good.

It was not terrible cannabis, but there’s not much else I can say about it. The flavor was earthy and lemony but it was not very terpy–and it didn’t have that sweet cookies taste you expect from anything Runtz.

The throat feel was harsh and it was hot on the chest as well. Not a smooth smoke at all and the cure on this one was definitely rushed. Definitely machine-trimmed.

It was strong enough to be effective medicine, but other than that there weren’t many positive qualities to this bud. It was functional, not pleasant.

Back of No Kids Allowed weed store baggie

Conclusion: NKA Would Be Okay In A Pinch

The year is 2047 and nobody else is open–you, desperate for cannabis, turn to NKA. In reality, I could see going to them under less dire circumstances, but not much less.

There are many great vendors out there so you should set your standards higher than what No Kids Allowed’s weed shop offers.

You’ll find No Kids Allowed advertising on the Gentleman Toker conglomerates websites, including: and

They also advertise on–take a look at this review of NKA’s bud to see some beautiful macro shots. won’t criticize in their reviews, as they require a large monthly payment and explicitly state they won’t say anything bad about their patrons.

That’s the main difference between the pay 2 play review sites and ours–the definitive DC pot review website. We are independently funded and can document our experiences uncensored, and unbiased.

Unlike other DC cannabis review websites, we don't accept payment for favorable reviews.

1 Review

  1. Mike Jason Reply

    Quality blog I learned a lot from you guys I love to buy from your store

    June 7, 2022 at 12:12 pm

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