September 5, 2022
Exotic Blooms Weed Delivery Service
Exotic Blooms weed delivery service, based in D.C., offers an okay experience. That’s it, so don’t expect more.
The flower our shopper received was of sufficient quality, but it was not a standout experience. The delivery driver pulled up in a nice car and was himself polite and professional, but the delivery took 3.5 hours from ordering.
Our shopper gave a hundred dollar bill for a $90 order, but Exotic Blooms doesn’t make change and kept the money. However, we were told we could call the business number to get store credit–better than nothing.
Exotic Blooms Basic Business Information
Exotic Blooms are open from 10am-7pm, 7 days a week. It seems they started doing business sometime in 2020 or late 2019, even though they have a blog post dated 2015. We reached out for clarification but never received a response.
We have struggled to get this review out because there’s not a ton to say about Exotic Blooms. They’re a run-of-the-mill operation that isn’t terrible or great. They’re so-so.
Exotic Blooms do have a decent bulk selection and a large menu on their website. However, I get the sense that the good smoke is the stuff that will cost you $680/oz with Exotic Blooms.
The Grandi Guava flower we received set us back $90 with delivery, and would have cost $360 to get an ounce. It wasn’t great for that price so my expectations for their $140 ounces are very low–proceed with caution.
The Flower We Got Was Okay
Grandi Guava was middle-tier cannabis. It was beautiful shades of purple, green and orange, and smelled of berries and mint. While this flower was aromatic, it was unpleasant to smoke and wasn’t very potent.
It was very harsh on the throat and had a heavy chest-feel upon inhalation. We suspect the cure was rushed on this batch.
If you have a high-tolerance, this strain may not get it done for you. The throat harshness will make you tap out before the THC does.
3.5 grams of Grandi Guava cost us $70 before their delivery fee of $20. At $50 this would have felt like an okay value but at $70 the Grandi Guava underwhelms.
Exotic Blooms Pays Customers To Review Them
They give people free prerolls in exchange for reviews. Though not an uncommon tactic, it’s an anti-consumer practice that erodes customer trust and buries legitimate criticism.
It’s very obvious if you go to their google reviews and see that most of the 1,000+ are from reviewers with 1 single review. But, rather than make assumptions, we found a review on reddit that proves they do this.
The review is here and as you can see below, they put the 2 prerolls on the receipt for $24 and then have a ‘Review/Marketing’ discount that makes them free.
This puts Exotic Blooms in the same camp as other businesses that engage in deceptive marketing: Gifted Curators, No Kids Allowed, Lucky Chucky, and Dreamland all had similar practices.
Who knows if anyone actually likes these companies, or if they’ve simply trained their customers to consider writing fake reviews as a cost-saving measure. We saw that Gifted Curators customers have this mentality.
Artificial Popularity In DC’s Recreational Weed Market
We estimate Exotic Blooms spends about $39,000 a month on ads to capture the attention of people looking for weed in DC. This is based on the known cost of the advertisements we can identify of theirs.
They’re featured as #4 on 420DC’s directory, #5 on Gentleman Toker’s list, and get monthly ‘reviews’ on TokersGuide. They’re able to spend heavily to remain in business, so people must like them, right?
It’s not clear if that’s true. We don’t know what level of repeat business makes up Exotic Blooms, and similar companies, revenue. However, if you look through their reviews on google, reddit, and yelp, you’ll find recent dissent from customers.
Bad communication. Made me wait x hours. Flower quality was poor. Don’t waste your time.
The problem is there are a dozen fake reviews in between each legit criticism, making it hard to decipher what is authentic.
Our poor experience with Exotic Blooms belies the idea that they’re succeeding on their merits. No; they’re an average weed company who wouldn’t be able to compete in a more professional market.
Once corporate interests invest in the D.C. recreational weed market (i.e. when cannabis is properly regulated), i71-era companies like Exotic Blooms weed delivery will quickly disappear.
Corporations with more money than them will outbid them for advertising, undercut their prices and have a more professional presentation.
I suspect one or two i71 companies will survive the regulatory changes that are ahead, whether that be next month or 10 years from now.
Which companies will survive the licensing costs and have a quality enough experience to compete with Big Cannabis? Probably not Exotic Blooms.
The Problem With Average Quality At Premium Prices
The D.C. recreational cannabis market is saturated. There’s a lot of competition–it’s common to see deals like 6 ounces for $300. You know the quality is going to be bad, but at that price, why not?
So a $70 eighth, coming from a company that charges $20 for delivery, should be better quality than what we got. I don’t think they’re winning a lot of repeat customers over with their pricing.
D.C.’s recreational weed companies just don’t have to manage their reputation. It’s much easier to pay customers to leave fake reviews and buy fake reviews from Gentleman Toker, Toker’s Guide, 420DC, etc.
Those websites will happily advertise a mediocre company as being the best thing since sliced bread. The positive reviews in turn bring droves of new customers each month–they don’t even need to worry about repeat business.
Exotic Blooms is in every way, an average business. Their flower quality is average, their service is average at best, and the experience is wholly middling. Any company worth its’ salt should stand out in at least one way.
Super! stands out as a business that’s operating in many locations, has great prices, and they’ll treat you fairly if something is wrong with your order. Dope City Supreme has exceptional flower and very professional sales staff.
In the recreational weed delivery business, being average means paying more for less. Delivery prices are more expensive than storefronts, or medical dispensaries. The only way to balance this value proposition is to offer a standout service in some way.
Popular Critiques Of Exotic Blooms Weed Delivery
The biggest thing people complain about is fake products. Fake DMT carts, mushrooms, and edibles, specifically. Fake, or low quality gifts are common for these product types.
Edibles, the most popular of these, is especially likely to be non-potent by the time you get it as a customer. This is because vendors buy too many of them for a bulk deal, and they sit around.
If these products aren’t stored and handled properly, they’ll lose potency to heat, light exposure, and oxygen exposure.
Cannabis itself has the same issue, so if your weed is very dry and tasteless, there’s a good chance it was improperly stored.
There’s a reason why some of these strains are going for sub $200/ounce; they’ve been sitting around too long, and are no longer potent, sometimes.
Another popular complaint, is that delivery took too long. It took them 3 hours for our delivery, but others report wait times as long as 5-6 hours!
With all of the available delivery companies to choose from, Exotic Blooms doesn’t give you any reason to stay with them. They’re happy delivering a single bad experience.
Conclusion: Nothing To See Here
Exotic Blooms weed delivery service is not even close to the worst in DC. But they’re average at best. There is no identifiable reason for us to recommend Exotic Blooms.
Exotic Blooms could be a great company–they’ve got a great website after all. Their high prices, middling quality, middling service, and poor delivery time keeps them from it currently.
I wouldn’t hold my breath, either. As long as Exotic Blooms, or any mediocre i71 vendor, is able to drop $40,000 on ads each month and bribe customers for fake reviews, they don’t need to worry about reputation.
We don’t take issue with spending big on advertisements–that’s just good business. Our issue is with the ad platforms that fail to disclose when their ‘review’ is a paid-for advertisement. That whole information structure is corrupt.
Gentleman Toker, Toker’s Guide, 420DC–all put lipstick on pigs in the D.C. recreational weed market. Exotic Blooms is a pig.